Kate Heavey BA (Hons) FdSc BACP (Accredited) - Counselling and Psychotherapy in Ripley near Guildford and Woking in Surrey
The aim of this page is to give you a small insight into alcoholism (and other addictive behaviour) and for you to know there is help available.
Addiction can be seen as a slow suicide which takes years off life...it is self-harming and painful TO YOU. You do not have to live this way. It takes courage to admit you have a problem and to seek help.
Please know you can contact me in confidence.
Have you ever wondered why once you start using your drug of choice you are unable to stop?
Are the consequences of your drinking / using getting worse?
Are you losing family, friends, relationships and jobs due to it?
Has your world got smaller as you hide behind closed doors?
Is your health a concern to you (or others)?
Do you use alcohol and/or substances to block out memories, life events, emotions or as a way of detaching from reality?
Do you have will-power for everything else and get confused why your addiction is the one thing you can not control?
Have you tried 'controlling' your addiction only to fail (e.g. change of drink, setting out to have only 2, not finishing the bag, etc.)?
You are not alone. There is help available and the very fact you are here is the first courageous step in getting help.
To be an alcoholic / addict you do not have to be moneyless, homeless or sat on a bench (although many think that is where an alcoholic / addict ends up). There is a term called ‘functioning’ and that is where you still have your job, house etc. ‘just’.
Being active in your addiction means you may have lost the power of ‘choosing’ it as you are physically dependent and reaching for it long before you realise. At this stage, self-will, swearing off of it, changing your drink / drug, delaying the time you use until, etc. are all to no avail. At this physical stage your body is craving and you will have no mental defence against your first use ONCE YOU TAKE THAT FIRST DRINK / HIT.
Addiction does not have to be 24/7 and a binge user can be an alcoholic / addict as the term is not about how much you use it is about the effect of your using. To some, a couple of glasses of wine / hits can be too much, yet to others, a couple bottles of vodka / excessive using is not enough! Alcoholics and addicts come in a variety of shapes and forms.
So how do you recover? If you are a true alcoholic / addict then education around your disease and abstinence offer long term recovery. Of course, it goes without saying that abstinence is not possible with all addictions (e.g. food and sex) yet learning healthy ways of relating to your drug of choice, i.e. a food addict would learn to 'eat to live' rather than 'live to eat', a sex addict would learn how to be in a fulfilling intimate relationship.
If you are a heavy drinker / social drinker than moderation will be possible; this work includes looking at the reasons for the escalation of use.
As a counsellor, I can support you and be alongside you in your recovery journey. I encourage you to be honest, open and willing as you look at your life cycle and find the underlying causes which cause you to 'act out' with your drug of choice. Part of the process involves exploring your past and looking at what keeps you in your cycle. Together we can work on you understanding your disease and yourself.
Regarding session frequency, it may be initially you need more than one session per week (after all, you are using more than once a week) which you may see as costly yet this is about you taking your life back and living free from pain and suffering.
Maybe right now you can not imagine life without your addiction yet, some day, you will not be able to imagine life with it (that is the hope I carry).
If you are suffering from your addiction, reach out, get help and start to walk the path to freedom.
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Telephone / text 07941 305511
Can you identify with this quote......."A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can't predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before." RAYMOND CHANDLER, The Long Goodbye
KATE HEAVEY BA (Hons) BACP (Accredited) - COUNSELLOR / PSYCHOTHERAPIST IN RIPLEY NEAR GUILDFORD AND WOKING OFFERING COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY IN SURREY