Kate Heavey BA (Hons) FdSc BACP (Accredited) - Individual and Couples Psychotherapist and Counsellor in Ripley (Surrey). Online counselling via Zoom, Signal, WhatsApp and the telephone.
Chances are you are feeling unhappy with the quality of your relationship yet relieved to be reaching out and to be ready, or getting ready, to take action because you want your relationship to be different.
It is easy to be nice, warm and loving when you first fall in love yet then humanness comes out and imperfections, flaws, fallibility, defences, etc. start to show up as you realise we are all human and this can have a big impact on relationship.
In many ways couple counselling is more vulnerable than individual counselling as there is a lack of control over what a partner may say and, by its very nature, it can be unpredictable. YET it is still a safe place for each person to tell their own story, be heard and for each person's perspective to be honoured.
You may be asking yourself 'is it too late?' It may be or it may not be yet one thing is for sure; the patterns would have been going on for a long time and so you both now have to be willing to do the work to get your relationship back on track. After all, there was love there once and can be again.
Couple counselling is when the relationship, dynamics, difficulties, past and future are all in focus; couple counselling centres on the relationship rather than the individuals and is about the effect on the relationship of the individuals.
Struggles does not mean you are flawed or have something wrong with you; it means you are two individuals with individual wants, needs, desires, life experience, value systems, etc. coming together and challenging one another.
In couple counselling it is about you doing the work as, sadly, I am not able to wave a magic wand. It is about you developing individually and also together.
Couple counselling brings exciting and rewarding times.
1. If you are contemplating marriage, or have just got married, and want to learn ways to more effectively communicate.
2. You are not being the partner you aspire to be which is causing internal conflict and distress for you and your relationship.
3. You are repeatedly re-triggering each other's emotional trauma.
4. There is a lack of communication skills to move forward.
5. Resentment has built-up and you keep replaying old hurts and damage with an inability to repair.
6. A life event has severly impacted on your relationship, i.e. affair, bereavement, redundancy, child birth, etc.
7. You are using survival techniques (fight, flight, freeze) which were learnt in your family of origin yet are not working in your relationship.
8. You have lost your lust for your partner and no longer feel sexually attracted to them.
9. You feel unheard, unconnected with and alone.
1. For change, growth, development and to stay in your current relationship.
2. Because you are deliberating 'Should we stay together or separate?'
3. You have decided you wish to separate and want to leave the relationship in as healthiest way as possible.
1. Understand your problem and what you both want to achieve through counselling.
2. Manage conflict, shed light on your destructive cycles and repair wounds.
3. Focus on your relationship offering a neutral perspective.
4. Tentatively challenge ill-effective behaviours and cycles.
5. Be empathic helping name feelings experienced.
6. Find a 'win win' for difference.
7. Be decisive, insightful and help sustain positive momentum.
8. Encourage new roles, new ways of being and new responsibilities in the relationship.
9. Reflect on and prize growth.
Prior to your first session I will have emailed you pre-assessment forms to be completed which give me background information so that your first session can be conducted in the here-and-now. For this pre-assessment work, and for the first 60 minute session, there is a charge of £30.
All sessions after - 60 minute - £75
Each additional 30 minutes charged at £30
Contact from website
Please click here to contact me directly from this website.
Email [email protected]
I will email you back the same day if a working day. Please be rest assured emails are confidential and only seen by me.
Call 07941 305511
If I am unable to answer please leave a brief message informing me of your enquiry along with your name, telephone number and when it is a good time for me to call you back.
Please note:- If your number is not familiar to me, and you do not leave a message, I will not call you back as I am aware this could be dangerous without knowing your individual situation.
My answering machine is confidential and your message will only be listened to by me.
Text / WhatsApp Contact
Text 07941 305511 to make an appointment.
If I am in an appointment I may not be able to answer you straight away yet I will get back to you as soon as I am able to.
When emailing, calling, or texting, please note I work in Private Practice on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursday mornings so this will delay a response if you contact me on non-working days.
Not ready yet?
If you feel you are not quite ready to commit to an appointment please feel free to message me. I have been where you are now and am happy to help with your transition.