Kate Heavey BA (Hons) FdSc BACP (Accredited) - Individual and Couples Psychotherapist and Counsellor in Ripley (Surrey). Online counselling via Zoom, Signal, WhatsApp and the telephone.
The aim of this page is to give you a small insight into possible feelings that you may experience as a result of a loss and/or bereavement and for you to know you need not suffer alone.
Grief is the loss or death of something and it is a reflection of the connection you had, i.e. person, relationship, dream, job, etc., and YOUR LOSS COUNTS as you are in a grieving process - a marriage breakdown brings the loss of the relationship; a job loss brings the loss of a pay cheque and the environment, the loss of an idea means hopes and dreams are shattered; loss is so much more than death. What is really important to acknowledge is that you do not even have to have loved or liked as it is about your connection and attachment, i.e. could be love or hate; like or dislike, met or unmet, etc.
Bereavement and loss has two components..... the actual loss and the stress caused by seperation and it is important to work with both aspects.
The loss or bereavement could have been expected or it may be a shock and temporarily shatter your world. Many factors will impact your mourning and grieving process such as age, who the person was to you, how attached you were (or not), religious beliefs, etc. If a death is involved, the way the person died can have a huge impact on your grieving process. Please know there is no 'right' or 'normal' way to experience grief and, as David Kessler states "each person's grief is as unique as their fingerprint" and I would add to this that it can feel like you are sitting with the lose ends.
Feelings of loss can include :-
Yearning / pining
Emancipation (feeling set free)
Physical symptoms of loss can include :-
Hollowness in stomach
Tightness in chest / throat
Oversensitivity to noise
A sense of depersonalisation ('I walk down the street and nothing seems real, including me').
Weakness in muscles
Lack of memory
There can be a sense of denial....you know the person is not in your life anymore, or has died, yet you find it impossible to accept you will never see, touch or hear their voice again which can be extremely hard to come to terms with.
Counselling provides a space for you to talk freely about what is happening for you. I offer a space without judgement. I offer a space where you will not be 'moved on' or told to 'get over it'. I offer a space for you to tell your story as many times as you need to. I offer a space for your grief to be witnessed. I offer a space for you to process your feelings. I offer a space as I walk beside you on your journey. I offer a space where I am fully present. The space is yours to use, as you wish.
Working with your bereavement, grief or loss does not mean that your grief is eradicated. However, working through your feelings does mean that you learn to build life around your loss finding new ways to continue the bond without it being so debilitating.
Contact from website
Please click here to contact me directly from this website.
Email [email protected]
I will email you back the same day if a working day. Please be rest assured emails are confidential and only seen by me.
Call 07941 305511
If I am unable to answer please leave a brief message informing me of your enquiry along with your name, telephone number and when it is a good time for me to call you back.
Please note:- If your number is not familiar to me, and you do not leave a message, I will not call you back as I am aware this could be dangerous without knowing your individual situation.
My answering machine is confidential and your message will only be listened to by me.
Text / WhatsApp Contact
Text 07941 305511 to make an appointment.
If I am in an appointment I may not be able to answer you straight away yet I will get back to you as soon as I am able to.
When emailing, calling, or texting, please note I work in Private Practice on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursday mornings so this will delay a response if you contact me on non-working days.
Not ready yet?
If you feel you are not quite ready to commit to an appointment please feel free to message me. I have been where you are now and am happy to help with your transition.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross states "the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths." Inspirational!
KATE HEAVEY BA (Hons) BACP (Accredited) - COUNSELLOR IN WOKING PROVIDING COUNSELLING IN RIPLEY AND PSYCHOTHERAPY NEAR GUILDFORD, SURREY