Kate Heavey BA (Hons) FdSc BACP (Accredited) - Individual and Couples Counsellor and Psychotherapist currently offering online counselling and psychotherapy via Zoom, WhatsApp, Skype or the telephone only.
The aim of this page is to for you to decide if you have an issue with alcohol and, if you do, what you want to do about it.
Alcohol is a legal substance yet heavy consumption can take years off your life and it has been likened to a slow suicide which is self-harming and painful TO YOU. Please know you do not have to live this way. It takes courage to admit you have a problem and to seek help.
You can contact me in confidence to discuss what is happening (don't let shame keep you away!).
Once you start are you unable to stop?
Are the consequences of your drinking getting worse?
Are you losing family, friends, relationships and/or jobs?
Has your world got smaller leaving you feeling isolated and alone?
Is your health a concern to you (or others)?
Do you drink to block out memories, life events, and emotions or as a way of detaching from reality?
Does the term 'Jekyll and Hyde' ring true?
Do you have will-power for everything else and get confused why this is the one thing you cannot stop?
Have you tried 'controlling' only to fail (e.g. change of drink, setting out to have only 2, etc.)?
Are you self-loathing / self-hatred?
You are not alone. There is help available and the very fact you are here is the first courageous step in getting help.
Myth busting: To be dependent on alcohol you do not have to be moneyless, homeless or sat on a bench (although many think that is where an alcoholic ends up). There is a term called ‘functioning alcoholic’ and that is when you still have your job, house etc. ‘just’.
If you are physically active in your drinking then the chances are you have lost the power of ‘choosing’ it as you are physically dependent and your body will crave alcohol once you take that first drink. At this stage, self-will, swearing off of it, changing your drink, delaying the time you start, etc. will all be to no avail.
Drinking does not have to be 24/7 and it is not about how much you drink it is about why you drink. To some, a couple of glasses of beer, wine, spirits, etc. can be too much whilst to others a couple of bottles of vodka is not enough! Alcohol misusers come in a variety of shapes and forms.
So how do you change?
If you are a heavy drinker / social drinker than moderation will be possible; this work includes looking at the reasons for the escalation of use (generally to escape life).
If you are an alcoholic with an allergy to alcohol then abstinence is probably the way forward as you can never safely drink.
As a counsellor, I will support you and be alongside you in your journey encouraging you to be honest and open as we look at the underlying causes of your drinking. Are you a heavy drinker or do you have the disease of alcoholism? This can be a hard question to face yet once you know you can decide what is right for you.
The elements of your cycle we will look at are:
Dormant (what is fuelling your 'pour me')
Trigger (i.e. loneliness, supressing feelings, resentment, self-punishment)
Preparation (this is what happens before you act out)
Acting-out (the actual drinking itself)
Regret (how you feel when you have 'done it again')
Rebuilding (life goes back to normal for a while before the cycle repeats)
(Addiction Cycle, Dr Paula Hall)
This forms a template for addiction which together we can work on you understanding.
If alcohol is affecting your life, please do reach out, get help and start to walk the path to freedom where you are free from the bottle (and hangover!).
Please click here to contact me directly from my website
Email directly [email protected]
Telephone / text 07941 305511
Can you identify with this quote......."A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can't predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before." RAYMOND CHANDLER, The Long Goodbye
KATE HEAVEY BA (Hons) BACP (Accredited) - COUNSELLOR IN WOKING PROVIDING COUNSELLING IN RIPLEY AND PSYCHOTHERAPY NEAR GUILDFORD, SURREY. B>